I’d like you to meet my dad, Jim Huebner. My Dad is the smartest person I know. He has taught me to be strong, courageous, and humble. He is the root to all of my knowledge and wisdom. He is the reason I am the woman I am today. I felt that it was necessary to interview him for this blog and to see how he would respond to the ideas I have previously shared with you. My initial question was to “Name your top two transitions of life.” The interview did not go quite as planned, but the results are worth every second. Not only did I learn more about him, but when we finished, he said “Thanks, for making me think. I said things I have wanted to say but just didn’t know how. I was challenged. I really enjoyed this time.” Here is how it went:
Transition 1: Getting out of high school and living on my own.
Q: What resistance did you face?
A: There was no resistance. My only resistance was myself and my own fears. I didn’t have outside influences, honestly, no one gave a fuck. I got a, “Good luck,” and a pat on the back. No one discouraged me, yet no one encouraged me. I was just out there on my own.
Q: How did you find your path?
A: I found climbing. I found a passion and I followed it. I bought a van and moved to Yosemite. It was something I had to do on my own.
Q: What did you learn?
A: I learned self-reliance and self-responsibility.
Q: What was the biggest challenge?
A: Although I faced financial challenges, my greatest challenge was the pressure I put on myself to achieve my goals.
Q: What did you learn from it?
A: I learned that fear should never hold me back.
Transition 2: Journey into personal growth: separating from you mom…
Q: What made you realize that this was a time to make a change?
A: Humility… I realized I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was. I was vulnerable and I was hurting; I couldn’t protect myself from these feelings anymore.
Q: What made you decide to make a change?
A: Loss… Not only did I lose a piece of my identity, but I lost my partner. This was a big deal; I knew I needed to make a change.
Q: What did you learn?
A: I learned that all fear and depression is rooted from loss. I learned that when you are scared it is because you are scared of losing something. I learned that life is to be lived by love, compassion, tolerance, forgiveness, honesty, humility, reverence, and generosity.
Q: How have you incorporated this into your everyday life?
A: If I am at a crossroad and need to decide which way to go, I ask myself if my choice is rooted by love, compassion, tolerance, forgiveness, honesty, humility, reverence, and generosity. I need to put myself first and recognize what is “truly” love, compassion, etc. We are forced to take self-inventory. As an example, many of us who are compassionate, go out of our way to relieve the pain and suffering of so others. Yet, we must realize that compassion is sometimes letting people work through their suffering themselves. At this point, I have to take a step, live by my truth, and let God take the reins.
Q: What is your advice to anyone who is going through a major life transition?
Stay in the moment….
“If I was to ask you what you were scared about in the next two minutes, you’ll say nothing.”
“If I was to ask you what hurt you in the last two minutes, you’ll say nothing.”
“If I asked you what you’re scared of in the next five years, you’ll have a list.”
“If I asked you what has hurt you in the last five years, you’ll write a list.”
The further you look ahead, the more fear is available,
The more you look behind, the more pain is available.
Fear comes from looking forward.
Pain comes form looking backwards.
Stay linear with goal and direction.
Focus on intention and desire; detach yourself from the results. Live in the moment, your results will come.